How to install a wireless security system

Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used work boots, a
really big pair. Put them outside your front door on top of a copy of
Guns and Ammo magazine. Put a dog dish beside it, a really big dish.
Leave a note on your front door that says something like "Bubba, Big
Mike and I have gone to get more ammunition - back in 1/2 an hr. Don't
disturb the pit bulls. They've just been wormed and they are a little
edgy."